Squirrels

Don't underestimate them. They're like monkeys, but smaller, faster, and without thumbs. 

The President of Uganda is....

In an attempt to appeal to the youth vote of Uganda, President Yoweri Museveni wrote this rap. In case you were wondering what he was saying, we have included the translation.  After reading the lyrics and listening to the song, we still have no idea what's going on.



Verse 1

The stick I cut strayed into Igara where Ntambiko reigns. Ntambiko gave me a knife which I gave to millet harvesters, who gave me millet, that I gave to a hen, which gave me an egg, that I gave to children who gave me a monkey that I gave to the king, who gave me a cow that I used to marry my wife.
She gave me a child I called Mugarura who raided back what belonged to me and my fathers.

Verse 2

Give me my stick! Invaders from Ngarama have arrived, shaking their bums like Rutendegyere. May thunder strike Rutendegyere from above where there is abundance that helps the rhinoceros to thrive. The rhinoceros feeds but reamins ready for a buffalo attack. The buffalo, whose meat is salty. The salt that comes from Nsharira deep inside the kingdom.

Support your local Gang Members and Drug Cartels!

Gang Members and Drug Cartels working in California breath a collective sigh of relief today as legislation to legalize marijuana failed to pass on November 2nd.  Illegal drug dealers are still greatly concerned about the increasing number of pro-marijuana states, and are working with the government to make sure that marijuana stays illegal and expensive.  Ending the War on Drugs would cost thousands of jobs, and in this economy, the Government needs to people to fight in order to keep people employed.  Fortunately for the illegal drug trade, the people of the United States seem under control, and tend to believe most anti-drug propaganda.